Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
