i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
