she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
