So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
