barbara walters just said penis...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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