Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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