yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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