Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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