It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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