first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize