The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
