Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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