so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
