I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
