Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
