ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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