I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
