shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize