Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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