Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
