Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
