I hope mine doesn't look like that
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize