the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
