he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
