His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
