windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
