I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
