No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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