I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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