is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
