i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
