i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
