How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize