There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
