went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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