This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
These tits shall not be calmed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
