lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
