I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
