he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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