Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Who died my cat blue again?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
