so explain again why im purple
no
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't want my vagina anymore.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
