butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
soo... how was my night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize