That's intense
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
