What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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