butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
