i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
