It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
