you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize