I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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