too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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