i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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