Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
