dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
