Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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