bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
