i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
