Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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