My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize