I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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