I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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