their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
