So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
