Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
