You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize