He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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