Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I could make wine with my vomit
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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