She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You don't make any sense
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