I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
