You're so nebulous sometimes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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