Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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