yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
