Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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