There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
