i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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