guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
