I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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